They jokes
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
Why is the USA bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
Worst punishment of all
Are you a building because I rate you a 9/11?
Why were the Twin Towers mad when they ordered pizza?
One arrived plain, one came in late, one went to the wrong address, and the other one never came.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳
Why are orphans' funerals so small?
They have no loved ones.
Why can't Americans play chess? Because they lost their 2 towers.
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale? Because they lost their 2 towers.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Why don’t rappers tell secrets?
Because they always end up DROPPING it.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
A person laughs every day.
"Man," they say, "I'm glad I'm not an egg, otherwise I'd just CRACK MYseLf uP!"
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.