They jokes
What do Monica and Bill Clinton have in common? They both did not inhale. Lol.
Some moving men had just begun their day's work.
The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.
The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."
9/11 jokes aren’t funny.
They always crash and burn.
Q: Why are orphans bad at baseball?
A: They can’t find home.
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.
Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they open up a shop.
Why do orphans always have an iPhone X or above?
So they don’t have a home button. 🤙🏼
How do you know an orphan is lying? When they swear on their mother's life.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they don't have a mother's or father's day.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cow.
Cow who?
Cow don't go who, they go moo!
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
Why don’t mountains 🏔 take anything serious?
Because they think they’re hill areas! 😂
What to do when you're bored? Punch an orphan in the face. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why can orphans type? Because they can’t find the home row.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
Why do orphans can't play baseball? They don't know where home is.
So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.
But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."
So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.
This was the best day of my life.
This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.