They jokes
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
They don’t have a closet to hide in.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?
They both come in small can.
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!