Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.
They Jokes
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
They don’t have a closet to hide in.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why do orphans like milk so much?
Because they got no milk as a baby.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
A kid and his dad went to the park. The kid accidentally steps on a cockroach.
They go home immediately and dad gets the scissors. Now the kid has some balls to play with.
Why do cheetahs never get an A+ on a test? They always cheetah!
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
When Chinese babies are born, they should put a sticker on their forehead saying "MADE FROM CHINA".
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?
They both jump in the toilet!
My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.
We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.
Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."
My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.
Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.
