They jokes
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
A couple and their friends were riding their tricycle, and one wheel fell off. They discussed what to do, and finally the friend said, "Why don't you just use me?" The boyfriend said, "Why did I not think of using the third wheel?"
Fat people should expect big things when they take their shirt off.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?
Because they have no Father’s or Mother’s Day.
Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have a Mother’s and Father’s Day.
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is.
How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they can't change anything.
I am just kidding, you know gay jokes aren't funny, come on guys.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.