They jokes

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex. Guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch.

Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂

Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.

Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.

I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?

They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.

Why are wives also called a housekeeper?

Because after the divorce, they keep the house.

Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

Because you can't drink and derive.

Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.

Orphan: Realizes.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't run home.

What do you do when you're bored?

I beat up orphans.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I used to think that Jewish people were a myth.

But one day I realized, they Israel.

Why does America suck at chess?

They lost two towers.

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.

Stop telling orphan jokes before they tell their parents.

Oh wait, they don't have any, please continue.

What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?

They both have no way home.

What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

Tip for Kindness for the day.

Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.

Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen

America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.