They jokes
What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?
A: They both come in a little behind.
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
They put the woman's rights in the fantasy section in the library.
What are the similarities between a pedophile and a 9/11 plane?
They both came from behind and crushed them.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
Why do people watch hentai?
Because they are as fake as pornstars are.
You know why orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their parents.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!
Why can orphans not grow big and strong? Because they need a parent to buy them steroids.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”
“No.”
“Neither have they.”
What do humans and monkeys have in common? They both hang from trees.
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.