Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
What do kids play when they have nothing else to do?
Bored games.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
So, gender equality is the idea that a woman can do anything a man can, right? That they should be treated the same? So, therefore, if she swings on me, I could punch her into the Twin Towers because of gender equality. I love gender equality.
Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.
What do a gay man and a tumbleweed have in common?
They blow and blow until they wind up on a fence in Wyoming.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
'Cause they only had 4 trucks.
What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.
Why are Americans stupid? They shoot everyone that goes to school.
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both shove their meat between 10-year-old buns.
Q: Why do I always see gays in the roundabout?
A: They couldn’t go straight.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
They both used to be straight.
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
