They jokes
What is the good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in school zones.
My relatives used to tease me at weddings, saying I'd be next. They soon stopped when I started doing the same to them at funerals.
What does Sonic say when he's bored?
Punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?
Why can’t an orphan go on the field trip?
Answer: They don’t have a parent’s signature.
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they have already lost two towers.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
Q: What do Olympians make bad DJs?
A: They keep breaking records!
Why do pirates pirate? Because they "Arrrrrrrrrgggghhh!" Hahahahahahahahaha!
How do Chinese people name their kids?
They throw them down the stairs and see what noise they make! WA WA WAAAAAAAAAAAA!
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
Why are there no guns in China? They might do some "ting wong!"
Why are orphans gay? Because they can’t come out to anyone.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”