They jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball in China?
They can't find home plate.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They always come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
Why does an orphan only have 363 days in a year? Because they don’t have mothers' and Father’s Day.
Why do shows have a family? Because they are "Pair-rents"!
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they don't have their parent's email.
The Twin Towers were like a woman stuck in the washer machine. They both got freed.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.