why are people in japan so slim? because the last time a fatman came, they lost half their population.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
How do rappers stay cool?
They have MAD ICE!
Why don't rappers tell secrets?
Because they always spill the beats.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
How do butts stay cool in the summer?
They stay in crack conditioning.
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What do Civil War veterans and pedophiles have in common?
They both prefer Minnie (mini) balls.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook. All they wanted was books, but got magazines instead.
Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
Why don't rappers struggle with geometry?
Because they have all the angles covered.
