They jokes
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.
Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.