They jokes
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.
What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.
Donald Trump is to white Americans as O.J. Simpson is to black Americans. They will never choose to convict these people even if they murdered or raped.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
These posts are brutal; they're leaving nothing left standing.
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
Fat people are like the Twin Towers. Once they go down, they don’t come back up.
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
What do maths and 9/11 have in common?
They both prove two parallel lines can be intercepted by a plane.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.
Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?
Because there were no more planes.
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
What do women and a Happy Meal have in common?
They both come with a toy.
Vince Li doesn't eat comedians. He says they taste funny.