They jokes

Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

Really gotta love all the morons who, instead of sharing irreverent dark jokes, say the stupidest shit pertaining to Christianism.

Why were the twin towers sad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one, and let the other one off.

The only woman to ever tell you that they loved you was your mom. (If she even loved you in the first place.)

Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they are all crying in a dark corner.

Why can't an orphan make a home run in baseball?

Because they have no home to go to.

Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?

Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!