They jokes

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.

Me: You f&*k up.

The class: Oh sh!&

Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."

Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."

Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?

Because they only gave him one test tickle.

Bro, tampons look like sperms, and they go up your coochie.

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  • I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.