Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
What do orphans and Spider-Man have in common?
They both have no way home.
What do hookers and porn stars have in common? They get paid for sex and get STD's.
Yo mamma so fat, she asked for a water bed, and they put a blanket over the Atlantic Ocean.
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
What happens if a redneck is bisexual? Do they go for their brother or sister?
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?
"Period, oh period, oww!"
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.
What did the Taliban say to the Afghan?
Nothing, they blew him up.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
Why can't Americans play chess...
Because they lost 2 towers.
