They jokes
Cars are like bullets; you jump in front of one, and they solve all your problems.
Why were the Twin Towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, but got plane instead.
Wanda and Daredevil have so much in common.
They both wear red, they're both in Marvel, and they both lost their Vision!
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
I see my friends at school. They talk to me, they go back to class, but they forgot I am their classmate, and they were like, "You're a dumbie." And I was, "Well, you're a dumbass, bi***!"
I hate stairs. They are always up to something.
I love stairs. They are always down to party.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
Why do kids like to pick on orphans?
Because they can't call their parents.
Why can't orphans use a phone?
Because they don't have a home screen.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Cause they can't go to home base. 😈
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.