Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
Why can’t Chinese orphans play baseball?
They cannot run home.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do pedophiles always lose a race?
Because they come in a little behind.
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
Columbine High basketball team will never be good again after they lost their two best shooters.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes? They literally look this shit up just to complain.
Why is the USA bad at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
The Eagles when they actually thought they were gonna win the Super Bowl. 😹
Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.
We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?
Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Chinese always proud of their principle in business.
The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They wanted pepperoni, but instead, they got plane.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have got no home to run to.
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”
