Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
Why can orphans only watch G-rated movies?
Because they have no parental guidance.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pepperoni but instead they got... Plane.
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
What do all rangas have in common?
They all look like wildfires.
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and slapped his thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes, picked up her dress and said, "Let's have some fun!"
Silly ole Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.
When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.
So they can let me down one last time.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
