They jokes
Why do gay men hate periods? Because they per Collins.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.
You have a father figure.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
At the job interview, they asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I told him, “I think we’ll still be using mirrors in five years.”
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”