They jokes
I should probably stop making emo jokes.
They just don't seem to cut it anymore.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
What do spiders and Black people have in common?
When they’re black, they kill you.
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They’re draining the economy doooown!
They’ve spent our budget on weed
and lube to spill Jack’s seed.
They’ve ruined our wonderful town!
We're gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
They have no moralityyyy.
They’re spreading degeneracy.
We ain't what we used to be.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water,
but then they stopped at the tippy top to smoke some marijuana.
They went to the store, and got some more, to fetch a “few” more beers.
Next day they came, ran off again, repeat for 24 years.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill!
They’ve banked off buying boooze!
They’ll drink and sell the price
at the original times thrice.
Corruption wins, the avg. folk’ll loseee.
We’re gonna have to kill
no good Jack and Jill.
Their kids’re in the business tooo!
They’re draining all our banks.
Give 'em well deserved spanks.
We’ve got to kill ol' no good Jack and Jill.
Jack and Jill Netflix and chilled and made a grave mistaake.
What a blunder, there was no rubber, now they’re a house of eeiiight!
A bolt went off, they opened shop to resell their porn and lean.
It all went swell, but for us, well, we’re now an oligarchy!
WE’LL KILL OL' JACK AND JILL!
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?
It was a failure because:
South Americans don’t know the word “please.”
Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”
Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”
Balkans don’t know the word “give.”
Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”
Africans don’t know the word “food.”
Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”
Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”
Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
Why don’t rappers tell secrets?
Because they always end up DROPPING it.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?
Because they took a day off.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?
Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.