Thereness jokes
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
Why'd the girl fall off the swing?
'Cause she had no arms.
Knock, knock!! Who's there?
Not the girl.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
If there is a guy in a wheelchair and he is a bully, say, "I’m still standing."
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
Just saw the news that Kobe passed. I guess there's a first for everything.
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
Hang in there, you all, Literally.
Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
Wanna hear a joke? Just look in the mirror, the joke's there!