Thereness jokes
I told an orphan there were 363 days in a year.
An electrician walks into a green house. He sees a red room. He wonders why it's red because Kurt Cobain and his shotgun were sitting there.
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor.
My friend was like, "That's a huge sack of balls!"
He didn't realize what was about to happen.
"That's what she said!"
Knock knock. "Who's there?" "Grandma." "Oh, okay."
Nah, it's a penis.
Knock knock! Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock knock!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Goliath.
Goliath who?
I need to Goliath down and sleep!
Ex-girlfriend: "I can smell fish."
Ex-boyfriend: "I can smell shit."
Ex-boyfriend: "Well, how many boys swam down there?"
Ex-girlfriend: "20!"
Fish: "It wasn't me. I don't swim around mistakes."
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
What does it mean when there is a man in your bed, gasping for breath and saying your name?
It just means that you didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ligma.
Ligma who?
Ligma balls!
There is a lot of difference between a man and a woman saying, "I went through a whole box of tissues watching that movie."
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
Ken came in another box.
There are a lot of things that explode... like cars, boats, the Twin Towers.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
So all blondes are dumb, right?
Is that why there are so many more white people that are blonde than Black?
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"But we're not there yet."