Thereness jokes
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted.
My little sister called my name a few minutes after I put her to bed. She told me that there was something in her closet. I checked the closet and told her there was nothing there, but told her she could still sleep in my room with me. I was thinking that was the best way to get her out of the room before he noticed I saw him.
Why do orphans have an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
oh well there goes another one
Why is dark spelt with a K and not a C?
Because they can’t see their parents.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.
Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.
First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”
Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Steve!"
"Steve who?"
Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.
Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? (You're a poo.)
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
With a poke-poke here,
And a poke-poke there,
Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ruff ruff.
Ruff ruff who?
Let the dogs out.
China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.
"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"
There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”