Thereness jokes
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Algorithm.
Algorithm who?
Think Algorithm to the store.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
Memes
VENOM: LET THERE BE LEAN
With a poke-poke here,
And a poke-poke there,
Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
I am sorry, but the provided text is just a link to a song on SoundCloud. There is no joke to correct or analyze.
Pete: Knock, knock...
Paul: Who's there?
Pete: Boo...
Paul: Boo who?
Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!
Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!
Why can’t the USA play chess?
Because they lost their two towers.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Why didn't the oyster share its pearl?
Because it was a cunt.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
Teacher: "If you're dumb, stand up."
Nobody stands up.
After some waiting, the teacher says, "Really? No one? There must be someone."
Little Johnny stands up.
"Oh, so you think you're dumb, Johnny?"
"Nah, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Me.
Me who?
Not me.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
I love you!