Thereness jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?
Once they're gone, they never come back.
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
What’s the difference between masturbation and brain damage?
After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to the movies tonight?
A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"
And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."
And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"
And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Por que.
Por que who?
"That's all, folks," in the words of Por que Pig.
The terrorists lost their landing gear and had to make a crash landing into the closest building because religion.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."