Thereness jokes
Why do eight-year-old girls wear panties with flowers on?
In loving memory of all the faces that were buried in there.
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Knock, knock. Who's there? Little Boy Blue. Little Boy Blue who? Michael Jackson.
There is going to be a wild party at the orphanage, the parents aren't home.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?
You can pop their head off.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Why can't orphans open a family business?
Because there is no family.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
I love escalator jokes. There's not too many steps.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:
P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.
Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.
“They are all very tearable,” he replied.
Well, there is one person who gets it!
Why do orphans go to church?
They go there to finally call someone "father."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!