Thereness jokes

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon.

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.

I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.

As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.

Q. What hits the ground first when falling out of a tree, a leaf or an emo kid? A. A leaf. There is usually a rope to stop the emo kid.

There was once a grandfather. He had very little hair, and he lived in a forest.

On his death bed, he was fully bald. So he told his children, "You see my head? I have no hair. All of my hair has been wiped, and I hope this forest doesn't experience the same. Children, every time a tree is cut in this forest, plant a new one in its place."

So for years, and to this day, that forest still stands, each tree being replanted. All because of an old man and his re-seeding hairline.

Fat kid jumps in the pool.

The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."

The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."

Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.

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    • I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.

    And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...

    AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!

    There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

    The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

    He said, "No, because you're black."

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    • There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.

    When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.

    The doctor said, "You're all right now."

    Boy: The F in orphan stands for family.

    Orphan: But there’s no F in orphan.

    Boy: Exactly!

    Your hairline goes so far back, even the Proclaimers wouldn't walk there.

    *Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.

    *Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.

    *Me sits down in the chair*

    *Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.

    *gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.

    *walks out without paying*

    *Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.

    *customer:* I told u she would.

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