Thereness jokes

A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"

There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.

I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.

Why were there only 3,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Cause there were only 4 trucks.

Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?

Doctor: To the morgue.

Man: But I’m not dead yet.

Doctor: Are we there yet?

Knock, knock.

(Who’s there?)

Roger.

(Roger who?)

Roger walks away, silently sobbing, having realized his mother’s Alzheimer’s is getting worse!

There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?

They left someone for memories!

There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: “Oh God, protect me from falling!”

There is a joke that did not enter this page... Why? She is afraid they will laugh at her!

My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

how old are my girlfriends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters

Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.