There jokes

Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they're too busy stealing all the green cards.

Why can't orphanages play baseball?

Because there's no home to go to.

There’s nothing funny about orphans, right?

Well, I guess that depends on your sense of humor.

Stacy: Honey, I'm kinda new to texting, what does lol mean?

Justin: I'm not sure, "lots of love," I guess.

Margaret: Stacy, are you there? I don't know if you heard, but Amber and her three kids were killed in a car crash this morning. I'm in total shock!

Stacy: lol

Did you know that the F in orphan means family?

There's no F in orphan?

Exactly.

There is this little boy, and he gets in the shower with his mom and looks up and says, "Mommy, what are those?"

She replies with, "These are my headlights."

He looks down and says, "Mommy, what's that?" She says, "That's my garage."

So he gets out of the shower and gets in with his dad and looks down and says, "What is that?" The dad says, "This is my snake."

Later that night, he wakes up in the middle of the night and screams, "Mommy, Mommy, turn off your headlights and close your garage. Daddy's snake is trying to get in!"

When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.

They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.

There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.

Why can orphans never walk home?

Because there's no way to go.

What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?

There’s no way home.

Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.

Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!

Why did the white girl come back from Africa?

Because there was no water for her to drink. I'm black.

Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?

Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.

What's the difference in Japanese Kamikaze and 9/11?

There is none, they both go up in flames.

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

One day, a priest and a nun went to play golf together.

In the first shot, the priest missed his shot and said, "Fuck, I missed it!"

The nun replied, "Hey, you should not curse."

In the second shot, the priest missed his shot again and said, "Fuck, I missed again!"

The nun replied, "Hey, stop swearing, or else God will punish you."

In the next shot, the priest missed once again. He shouted, "Fuck this, this game is bullshit!"

The nun replied, "Enough! God is definitely going to punish you anytime now."

Suddenly, a thunderbolt struck the nun and killed her. The clouds separated from the sky, and there was a voice in the sky saying, "Oh, fuck, I missed!"

When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....

Where is the building I was in, and why is there a plane?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Suicide.

Suicide who?

Suicide you.