Them jokes
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
What’s the best thing about 28 year olds?
There’s 20 of them.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
How to get quick cash:
Step 1: Kill a child's parents.
Step 2: Do foster care for them.
Step 3: Get paid for doing foster care.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.
Relationships are like fat people.
Most of them don’t work out.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Why does the military recruit orphans?
Because homing missiles don’t target them.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.