Them jokes

Why do we not have female magicians? Because last time we had them, we burned them alive.

What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.

What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

Women are like iPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

What is an orphan's least favorite movie?

Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

Why is prostitution illegal?

Because when it comes to screwing people and taking their money, the government doesn't want anyone outperforming them.

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?

One of them is really loud when you iron it.

Here's a sex joke.

What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.

Someone at school asked what makeup I was wearing.

I said, "a smile."

They are now following me around asking if my mental health is okay.

My plan to avoid them is to not go to school.

Going to school is mandatory in this country.

Can you guess my plan?

What do orphans and garbage have in common?

They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.

I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?

Neither of them respect boundaries.

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

Why do you call a priest a father? Because calling them daddy would be too sus.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"