Them jokes
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."
The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"
The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
What do you call a bad bitch? You call them stupid bitches.
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
fr tho
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.
Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*
Dad: Babe, we need to talk.
Mom: Okay......
Dad: He's grounded.
Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.
Son: Am I getting a new daddy?
Mom: Soon honey, soon....
Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.
Whoever is an orphan and wants these to go, or if you just want them to go away, comment down below, or if you can't comment, give it a thumbs up!
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
I was shopping for a halloween costume, but once we got to the ghost section all of the costumes were out of stock! It turned out Pristiano Penaldo was buying them all! I came up to him and asked why he was doing this and he said: I’m sorry, but it’s match day, I must be a ghost 👻👻
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens?
When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw them some laundry.