Them jokes

How to make an orphan's hands hurt: Make them clap their hands till their parents come back.

Friend #1: "What's your favourite thing about trees?"

Friend #2: "Apples"

Me: "I can hang myself in them."

What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.

If you give someone a plane ticket, they will fly for a day, but if you push them out of a plane, they'll fly for the rest of their life.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:

"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?

"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"

I know 5 fat people, and your mama is 4 of them.

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

Why does an orphanage stay overnight at a school? Cause their parents won't pick them up.

My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.

Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.

I don’t see why emo kids don’t like to hang around.

I see them hang all day.

Just hire some people to be fake parents and print off an adoption paper. On April Fools', just leave them there at the orphanage! APRIL FOOLS!

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

Why did the woman throw her bills out the window? She wanted to send them via airmail.

What do boobs and toys have in common?

They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.

How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.

What is the difference between the government and organized crime?

Only one of them is organized.