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Them jokes

A Mario & Luigi joke.

What are the Mario bros' view on child support?

Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.

Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!

Don't Touch My Truck-By: Breland and Sam Hunt

You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my V8 engine with the windows tinted Boy, we came from the bottom, got it out the mud Whole block jumpin' 'cause the subs stay hittin'. If they roll up on me, know I keep one tucked (ooh, yeah) Woo Tell them boys come and get me. I be ridin' through the city. Young, rich and I'm pretty. Homie, don't get it twisted. Keep a semi in the hemi (oh) Red cup full of Henny. My hitters come in plenties, for real. You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck (skrrt, skrrt) Skrrt (yeah, yeah) Skrrt Don't touch my truck (brrp, yeah) Skrrt (woo-oh) Skrrt Don't touch my Wood grain dash with the matte black finish And it match my shawty with the big ol' butt. Know them boys soft 'cause they got hard feelings. You can try me if you wanna go and test your luck (woo) Tell them boys come and get me (get me) I be ridin' through the city. Young, rich and I'm pretty (yeah) Homie, don't get it twisted (yeah) Keep a semi in the hemi (in the hemi) Red cup full of Henny (yeah, we drinking) My hitters come in plenties, for real. You can drink my liquor. You can call my lady. You can take my money. You can smoke my blunt. Scuff these Jordans. You can say you hate me. You can call me crazy, but Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my truck Skrrt Skrrt Don't touch my Woo, ooh, woo, ooh, woo, ooh Don't touch my truck (woo, ooh) Don't touch my truck

Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?

To get them in his van.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.

My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

(I'm Asian so I can say this.) If I say that we are made of money, that just means you can fit pennies through our little eye slits, and we can save them for you in there!

  • 2

    • "Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

    "What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

    "They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"

    A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.

    "Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"

    Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(

    Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

    Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.

    Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

    Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!

    Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!

    Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!

    Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!

    "Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."

    "No, not until their parents pick them up."

  • 9

    • Parents: Let's have a bonfire.

    Me: Let's go to the orphanage.

    Parents: To bring other children?

    Me: No, to have the fire.

    Parents: Won't they be missed?

    Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.

    Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.

    Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.

    Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!

    Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!

    Love you-Iariah

    A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.

    Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.

    That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.

    You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?

    All of them are married!

    Why can orphans never be kidnapped?

    No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."