Theft

Theft Jokes

Orphan

An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.

Orphan

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

Tea

Why do emo kids drink only herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.

Wheelchair

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

Mama

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Mama

Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"

Hairline

I know this girl, Kamelah. She say, "What are you looking at?" I said, "I’m just tryna figure out why it look like Santa stole your hairline."

Life

(To a thief) If you like taking things, how about you take my life?

Grandma

I can get my grandma 50% off from her groceries by just scanning my wrist.

Wheelchair

Me and my girlfriend broke up, and I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

TV

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

Orphan

Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?

He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.