The jokes

A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Which hits the ground first?

The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.

A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

I told a blonde she needed gas for her car, and she farted into the gas tank.

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

If white people turn black when they char, what happens to the black ones?

Why is the ocean so salty?

Because the land doesn't wave back! 🤣

What do you call expired milk?

The Milky Way.

I like you, you like me.

Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

Why can't orphans see all these jokes on this website that we're posting?

'Cause they don't know where the home page is.

If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?

Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!

Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.

Why is the cheetah so fast?

Because it can't walk slow.

🚘 What is as old as the earth 🌎 and new every month? The moon.

The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.

Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.

Why was Wet scared of Water? Because he was the water.

How do you clean the ocean?

With tide!