The jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
Why do the police never catch the orphan?
The orphan is not wanted.
Why is America the fastest readers?
They went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Why did the cheetah get in trouble at school?
Because he cheated on a test.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.
Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Don’t stop orphan jokes. They’re funny, and people are just mad that they don’t understand the jokes because they're too STUUUPID.
How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowshiped in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church?
Anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar.
The pirate looked down the toilet, and what did he see?
The captain's log.
My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.
Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?
Because the children kept calling me "daddy."
Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?
So gay people can have lightsaber duels.
What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?
(Your imagination.)
What do a turtle and a pedophile have in common?
They both try to get there before the hair does.
Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.
What do you call the woman that fucked sooooooo many hunks to have the condom break and a failure to be born? Ur Mum.