The jokes

Shit

What did one butt cheek say to the other?

"Together we can stop this shit."

Vegetable

How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?

The wheelchair rises to the top.

Mama

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mama.

Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.

Orphan

What was the orphan's first video game console?

PS5 because it has no home button.

Wall

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, because they are walls.

Flash

In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?

Because Flash is not supported on Windows.

Animal

There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.

Orphan

Why did the orphan start crying?

Because his apple found a home in his stomach.

Twin

Me: What did the twin say to the other twin?

Friend: I don't know.

Me: I'll fall with you.

Blonde

For every blonde in the world,

scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Word

I still remember my grandpa's last words.

"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"

Orphan

Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?

Because their dad never came home from the store.

Octopus

Why did the octopus 🐙 beat the shark in a fight?

Because he was well armed!

Fridge

I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?

Nothing, I eat both of them.

Hitler

What did the German Shepherd dog say to Hitler?

"Mein Führer ist steckenbleiben in meinen Zähnen."