The jokes
Who is always looking spot on?
The cheetahs.
Your sister is your mother.
Your father is your brother.
You all shag one another.
The Inbred family.
Roses are red, violets are blue, by the way, I have the flu!
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Memes
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
Why was the entire population emo in the 1920s?
Because it was the Great Depression.
Pro tip: How to not hit your thumb with a hammer, make your child hold the nail.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because he was tired of waiting for the milk.
Hitler was the most handsome man alive.
Everyone died for him.
How did the lesbian die? Homicide.
What do you call a group of emos?
The Suicide Squad.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Give a man a plane ticket, and he’ll fly for a day.
Push a man from a plane, and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
What is Michael Jackson's chemical? The HE-HE-lium.
The best part about Poland 🇵🇱 is that the police lights are different.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted up her dress. They had some fun.
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.