The jokes
Hi, I am just wondering who went into my account, 'cause I've changed my password, by the way.
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?
Everywhere!
I was walking by the gun shop earlier and saw everything was 40% off. I didn't know back to school sales were already starting.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door?
She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.
Dad's secretary left her position, he told me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
What time is bedtime at Michael Jackson’s house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.