The jokes

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

Why did God build a stairway to heaven?

So all the disabled people will have to go to hell.

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

Where did Sally go when the explosion happened?

Everywhere!

My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.

You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.

I had a cake for my gender reveal party. I cut it, and the inside was yellow...

Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.

Why were the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but instead they got plain.

I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.

May he rest in pizza.

The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To be wanted.

My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.

What cookies did the orphans never try?

Home made cookies!

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but I have the flu.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

Why's it so hard to come out of the closet? Just open the door!

When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:

"Looks like I am going back to the future!"