The jokes

What is Saturn's favorite movie?

Lord of the Rings.

What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?

Dam fools.

"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.

Victims of 9/11 are the fastest readers. They went through 94 stories in seconds.

What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?

The taste.

Chuck Norris once stared a basilisk in the eye, and it DIED!

What did the balls say to the dick?

Hey dick, how's it hanging?

How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?

You turn off the WiFi router.

The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.

"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.

"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.

What is better than winning the gold medal at the Special Olympics? Having arms and legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.

I think it’s dumb that people say a woman belongs in the kitchen.

How else is the rest of the house going to get cleaned?

Why were glow-in-the-dark condoms made?

To play Star Wars.

Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.

Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.

Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.

Official flag of Japan? The Sun.

Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.

Q: Why was the gay man fired from the sperm bank?

A: He got caught drinking on the job.

Do y'all know the saying "Hang in there?" Well, fuck that, because I might as well be hanging myself.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

A rope will hang with you.