The jokes

What's the best thing about a dead hooker? Refunds.

My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine! Lol.

What is an emo's least favorite game?

Cut the rope.

What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?

My clothes don't hang themselves.

What did the kid say to the emo?

"Don't leave me hanging!"

My dad went to go get milk. He came back 7 years later, and we had to send him back because he got the wrong milk.

Me: "What's the difference between an apple and an emo?"

Friend: "I don't know."

Me: An apple actually falls from the tree.

"This morning, I came out my front door to see my neighbor frantically trying to scrub off the word "PEDO" that had been spray-painted on his front window."

"What's been going on, John?" I asked.

"Fucking kids," came his mumbled reply.

The dirty bastard!

What cookies did the orphans never try?

Home made cookies!

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

To be wanted.

What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?

One of the missions succeeded.

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.

Why can't Mexicans play Uno?

Because they take all the green cards.

Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?

What were the Fortnite kid's last words? "I didn't know pumps are back in the game!"

The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!

How do you tell if someone is depressed?

The brains on the wall.

Violence is never the answer:

It's the solution.