The jokes
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
What's the difference between Chaplin and a politician in a wheelchair?
Chaplin does stand-up comedy, and the politician does sit-down... comedy.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.
My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^
Pontypool is rough.
Memes
Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Why did Ross fall off the swing?
Because he had no arms.
Spaceballs: The Comment.
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
There was an enemy with a machine gun.
My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."
So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.
I like tacos more than you like tacos.
Who likes more tacos?
Mee! said the taco.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
Why did Santa go to work? Because he was just trying out the work! 😂😂
A horse walked in a bar and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To check out the chicks!