The jokes

Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?

Because they heard the drinks were on the house!

Yo mama so fat, when she touched the stairs, it said, "To be continued!"

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"

How names were named.

"I have to go because my tailor is at the gym where he will chase coal before dawn."

"SAY THAT AGAIN. SO MANY GOOD NAMES!"

When we take a family photo, you are the background.

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!

How to silence a black protester at a rally?

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.

Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.

I like it when your mom keeps on top of things.

(Male fantasy)

Yeah, on top of me on the living room carpet, snogging my face off.

🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵

LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA

I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.

The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.

I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.

I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.

It's a Italy day outside the fields.

Japan takes credit for creating the rice cooker, but they forgot the USA made the largest one in 1945 and sent it to Japan.

Why did the suicide bomber get promoted?

Because he was blowing up at work. 💀😈

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!

Opal didn't hack RapBoat's account, she WAS RapBoat the whole time.

How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.

How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?

He spoke softly and carried a big stick.