The jokes
After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.
You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
Did you know the "w" in Africa stands for water?
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
What does an iPhone have that orphans do not?
Home buttons.
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
Yo mama so fat, I couldn't see the store.
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
My dad died during 9/11, he was the best pilot in all Saudi Arabia.
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.
Why does the emo hate Christmas?
The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.