The jokes
What's worse than one dead baby in a trash can?
One dead baby in ten trash cans.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
Memes
What did the 3 say to the 8? Have fun!
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
What's the difference between you and me? You're not strangling a man with a cloak on.
What did a car say hi to?
It said hi to the school.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
Because it has a silent “p.”
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
I’ll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I’ll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Heehheehehehehehehe
To get to the other side. Ahaahahahahahahahahahahaa!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent.
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"