The jokes
How did the cannibal know the girl he was eating for dinner had COVID-19?
She lost her taste.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.
"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.
The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"
What did the Buddhist say to the pizza delivery boy?
"Make me one with everything."
Memes
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
What's the difference between a casino and a church?
You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"