The jokes

What did the fat guy say to the tree?

"Get me some coconuts!"

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

Why did the Dinosaur cross the road?

'Cause the Chicken wasn't born yet.

I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.

I went to the shops and still didn’t find Lucy’s dad.

Did you hear about the cello player who dreamed he was performing Bolero?

He woke up and found out it was true.

Yo mama so fat when she walks the earth talks!

LMAO

Why is the blind kid popular?

He can't see the middle fingers.

What do the Twin Towers and a bad joke have in common? They never land well.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!

Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?

Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!

My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.

Bro, the Twin Towers are like my grandpa and his friends. One survived—my grandpa. The others have fallen—his friends.