It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
When I was little, I used to think that the people in cartoons were real people...until I turned 7. I realized that it was just people doing voices. Sad, isn't it?
I want to die in my sleep, like grandpa did, not screaming and crying like the people on the bus he drove.
You really can't call Starlin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.
Pictures of the people commenting
Just to get things straight I'm NOT I REPEAT NOT RACIST but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: your skin is so black and ugly.( for the 5th time ) Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color! Bully: ew no I don't! Me: then why do you keep talking about it?
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.
The bakery where I work is being robbed I said to the people I am calling the police then I realized they did not come for the money they came for the bread. Huh go figure.
Johnny was watching TV when he heard them say "bitch" and "bastard," so he asked his dad, "What is a bitch and bastard?"
Dad said, "A bitch is a female, and a bastard is a male."
Then Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say "ass" and "shit," so he asks his dad what "shit" and "ass" means. Dad says, "A shit is shaving cream, like what I'm putting on my face, and ass is a coat. Why don't you bug your mom?"
So Johnny goes back to the TV, and then they say "fuck," so Johnny asks his mom what "fuck" means. Mom says, "Fuck means carving, like doing to the turkey." Then a few minutes later, Johnny hears a knock on the door, so he answers it. He then says, "Welcome, bitch and bastard, may I tack your ass?" The people then ask where his parents are. Johnny says, "My dad is putting shit on his face, and my mom is fucking the turkey."
why were the people during 9/11 mad? they ordered 2 sausage pizzas but instead they got 2 plane pizzas
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
why were the people in the twin towers upset? they ordered pepperoni pizza but instead they got plane
Did you know the people in the twin towers were great readers?
Yeah, they went through 80 stories in seconds.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it? The no-bell prize.
What do you call the people in the Challenger explosion?
Ashtraynauts.
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
