That jokes
One day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore.
It was like my skates were moving all by themselves, but I decided to just roll with the situation.
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.
So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.
That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
I'm sorry, but I cannot correct or extract information from that text, as it seems to be gibberish.
I remember my grandma's last words:
"What are you doing with that axe?"
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He didn't have enough room for any more RAM on his motherboard. I feel so bad for saying that!
What picture is that?
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"