That jokes
"Why can’t you be comfortable with my own body?"
"I think you should ask yourself that."
Best thing ever right here.
So, there is this app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12-15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12-15 inches longer.
When you have an ex, you will notice that the word "ex" is short for "executed," so that's there for yous.
I always say no to drugs, but considering that I'm talking to them right now, I probably already said yes.
Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.
💡 idea. Start a confidential organization that only recruits via invite. Stockpile heavy duty weapons in an si when the time comes we can defend America from any domestic threat. *just a silly idea*
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.
What do you call an animal that smells?
A smelly-phant.
That joke is really not funny.
Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
What's the song that plays at the very end of the movie, Dr. Strangecow, during the montage of nuclear blasts?
"Veal meat again, don't know where, don't know when..."
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
Me: What's that sound?
Ex: What?
Me: Oh, it's the elevator going up. BYEEEE see you on another level!
Yo mama is so ugly that Satan started going to church!
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”