That jokes

If you get offended, leave. How did you even find this website, just to make people feel bad?? No.

You are seriously the stupid one here. Also this is not a joke, but the people that do this are.

Your momma is so fat that she can't even go skinny dipping.

Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.

So my dad walks into a bar and there was a hooker and a child. I was with him and they both approached us and they said only £50 for head but it was a little weird that the child was talking to my dad and the hooker was talking to me. I was about to say something but my dad pushed me over and my friend's uncle killed my dad.

The kid was never seen again. Her name was Madeleine McCann. I think I'm the only one who knows where she is, but overall the head from the hooker was good.

Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.

Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."

What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?

Ground beef.

Yo mama is so ugly that James Charles rejected her.

What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?

"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"

Son: Daddy, what's dark humor?

Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap.

Son: But Daddy, I'm blind.

Dad: Exactly.

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

I saw an emo kid that got a haircut today. But instead of saying “Like ya cut, g” and slapping the neck, I slapped the wrist and said “Like ya cut’s g”.

If my cat were a cactus, doesn't that make him the catus?

I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!

Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!

Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.

My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!

Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!

I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!

It's called "The Bad Batch File!"