That jokes
What happens to an orphan that gets on house arrest?
They get set free.
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
Like Markgeraldnasol and his Pokemon Jokes.
What do you call a killer that uses psycho powers?
Mr. Mime!
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher π
I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.
The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Gf: Babe, do you love me?
Bf: Count the stars and that's how much I love you.
Gf: But it's morning, sweetie...
Bf: Exactly.
Gf: :0, I'll take that as a no.
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.