That jokes

My friend said that gay people existed 10 years ago.

He can tell the future.

Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"

Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?

You're so fat, that you're fat.

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

Trump built a wall that Mexicans can't get over it.

My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.

I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.

Yo momma so stupid that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Chinese always proud of their principle in business.

The fact is only products they copy that go international, except for COVID.

Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?

Me: I Excel at it.

Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?

Me: Word.

*School Shooter Walks In*

That one kid who plays "Pumped Up Kicks" at max volume.

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.