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A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window, and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.

Ah, what's that on your face? Oh, I forgot, that is your ass. It's so ugly, you stupid-looking bitch!

Does anybody know the similarities between a Rubik's cube and a penis?

I don't know the whole answer, but I do know that the more you play with it, the harder it gets.

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

Three strangers have opened a gay chat; but if one left the chat, the chat would be closed.

Stranger 3: How to turn a straight guy into a gay guy?

Stranger 1: You can't!

Stranger 2: You can.

Stranger 3: How?

Stranger 2: By using the same idea of the Russian experiment; like in a detention, put him in a closed room full of gay stuff, but the difference is that he can sleep, and he will have food for 30 days and a toilet, too.

Stranger 3: Great idea, but who can we try first?

Stranger 1: You all gays are evil monsters.

Stranger 2: I think the stranger 1 is just a straight spy. Let's try this experi-

(The chat has been closed by stranger 1)

  • 1

    • A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.

    Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.

    Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》

    The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》

    Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》

    But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.

  • 1

    • The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

    I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.

    I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."

    An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.

    The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.

    My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

    "Knock knock!"

    "Who's there?"

    "Baby!"

    "Baby who?"

    "Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"

    "No thanks, I already ate."

    Dad: How was your trip to the park?

    Daughter: It was good until the man came along.

    Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?

    Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...

    Dad: Oh God, what next?

    Daughter: Nothing, that was it.

    Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!

    How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

    That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

    You're walking on the street when you realize that you're in the road as you feel the horn dying away.

    I would create an orphan website...

    But you need a home page to do that.

    (Since somebody stole this joke before) 🤷‍♀️