Tell jokes

I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.

SPOILER ALERT...

I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!

How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?

It's only got 10 hours to live.

It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.

Rapist: "Get into the fucking van!"

Kid: "mi gniog ot tell ym momy"

Rapist: "Fine" (Grabs a white kid instead)

I finally got my wife to shut up.

Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!

Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.

Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.

Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.

I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)