New Tell Jokes - Page 51 - Worst Jokes Ever

I was gonna tell you a pun about a bin but,

bin there, done that.

The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.

I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

How do you confuse a fish?

Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!

Person: You suck!

Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎

You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.

Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.

Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"

Last night I had a dream of lead, but your mom won't let me tell you.

April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."

You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.

Knock knock.

"Who's there?"

A man with a drum.

"Well, tell him to beat it!"

"Brandon, tell the teacher that I'm with Ms. Polack."

How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?

Chew when you swallow!

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

Why can't you tell anyone about space?

Because it's too out of this world!

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.