Teen jokes
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
I like Little Johnny's tight booty cheeks.
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What are the similarities between a 14-year-old pregnant girl and her unborn fetus?
They are both thinking, "Oh sh*t, my mom's gonna kill me."
An emo kid sees his clothes hanging to dry, and he says to his clothes, "I wish I were you!"
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
Trump's releasing the files.
To catch all the pedophiles.
He didn't know Epstein.
Didn't touch any teens.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
Why does Joe Biden like cold weather? Because he’s used to being in the teens.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
What is a group of emo kids called?
A suicide squad.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
What's the difference between an apple and an emo kid?
One falls, while the other hangs.
What are Emo kids good at... hanging around?
Q: How do you make an emo kid happy?
A: Give them a Happy Meal.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”